The Bible View of Marriage and Divorce

In today's society marriage and divorce are looked upon, for the most part, as things to do without consideration of the perspective God has for the marriage relationship. People are fast to find and marry the love of their life and equally as fast to get rid of the love of their life when the going gets a little challenging. There is little thought taken to consider what might be the consequences of breaking a covenant oath taken before God and man. Till death do us part, for better or worse, in sickness and in health are just words to most (including a lot of Christians). Since we live in the Age of Grace, because of what Jesus Christ accomplished for us on the cross, punishment for sin is held in abeyance untill the final judgement. We may not see negative results in our lives on earth but will see a reduction of rewards (for Christians) when we go before God for an accounting in the end. Marriage is a serious commitment and can not be taken lightly. Divorce too, is a weighty decision that has consequences not often considered by most.

MARRIAGE as seen from God's perspective:

Genesis 2:18-25
18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Marriage is an exclusive relationship in which a man and a woman commit themselves to each other in covenant for life and on the basis of this solemn vow become "one flesh" as stated in Genesis 2:24 above. To further establish this fact it is also restated by Jesus Christ during His ministry on this earth.

Matthew 19:4-5
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

God, beside creating woman to be a [1] helper to man, establishes in His Word the principles that make this life long relationship work. God established marriage for the mutual help of the husband and wife, [2] for the increase of mankind with a ligitimate issue of children and [3] for the preventing of uncleaness (sexual license and immorality).
[1] Genesis 2:18
18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
[2] Genesis 1:28
28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
[3] 1 Corinthians 7:2-7
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

God's ideal for marriage is that the man and the woman complete each other and share in the creative work of making new people. Marriage is for both Christians and non-Christians, but it is God's will that His people should marry only fellow believers. Intimacy in its deepest dimension is impossible when the partners are not united in faith (2 Corinthians 6:14).

Paul , in the book of Ephesians, makes a comparison of Christ's relationship to the Church as a means of explaining what a Christian marriage should be.

Ephesians 5:22-24
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own
husbands in everything.

As Jesus Christ is the spiritual leader of the church, the husband is spiritual leader of his family and is spiritually responsible for his family. Wives are to follow the spiritual direction of the husband and enable the two of them to function as a team (one flesh). This does not mean the wife is a slave to the man, she still fulfills the position of a helper in supporting decisions on spiritual matters.

Ephesians 5:22-24
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
As Jesus Christ is the spiritual leader of the church, the husband is spiritual leader of his family and is spiritually responsible for his family. Wives are to follow the spiritual direction of the husband and enable the two of them to function as a team (one flesh). This does not mean the wife is a slave to the man, she was intended to fill the position of a helper in supporting decisions on spiritual matters, running the home, providing provisions for the family, and handles the charity to the needy efforts of the family (see Proverbs 31:10-31 "the virtious woman".

Ephesians 5:22-24
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

A husband if to care for his wife as much as he cares for himself. He is to provide for her needs and protect her. His commitment to her should be a strong as the commitment Christ had for the church (in the example of the church, Christ willingly layed down his life for it).

Ephesians 5:30
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

We as believers, are all part of the body of christ (the church) and that is singular...one church, one body, not to be seperated from each other by divisions. As indicated in Romans 12:3-5 and 1 Corinthians 12:12-26, just as the church is to have no divisions to hinder it, a marriage relationship can not have can not function as God intended if a division in it is allowed to form (i.e. - legal seperation, non-communication, etc.).

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Husbands and wives are to love their spouse to the same extent they love themselves and the wife is to reverence (reguard with profound respect-The New Webster's Dictionary) her husband.

The apostle Peter in his letter to the church in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia covered further instruction on the subject of marriage. This subject matter in his letter addressed a common problem faced by men and women today, dealing with an unbelieving spouse.

1 Peter 3:1-7
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

The man or woman married to an unbeliever, through their witness of a Christian lifestyle without preaching at their spouse, can win them over to the Lord.

7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Peter's admonition to the husband's reiterates Paul's message to the husbands in the letter to the Ephesians.

The remaining topic covered in the scriptures relating to the marriage relationship is the sexual side of the relationship. In the book of Hebrews, written by Timothy (while he was in Italy) to the Hebrews.

Hebrews 13:4
4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

There is no limitation or restriction of what is acceptable sexually in the marriage relationship. "...and the bed undefiled:" as written here indicates that in the marriage relationship, couples have sexual freedom between themselves.

Finally to find and marry a wife is a good thing and the attached promise is obtaining favor of the LORD.

Proverbs 18:22
22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

DIVORCE as seen from God's perspective:

First we must understand what God's view of divorce is..."God hates divorce." It goes against everything he established as the way a relationship between a married man and woman should be. The usage of the word hate, as in God hates or the LORD hates, is a very seldom used expression in the scriptures. When God says he hates something it would be wise for us to take a serious note of what He says He hates.

Malachi 2:14-16
14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
15 And did not He make one? Yet had He the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That He might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
[For the Lord, the God of Israel, says that He Hates putting away (Divorce-literally).]

All casses of divorce & remarriage involve a disruption of God's ideal for the sexual relationship of a man and a woman. There are only two legitimate reasons given in the Bible (God's Word) in which God sees divorce an allowable recourse. The first one as everyone knows is for Adultery. Adultery according to the dictionary is "sexual intercourse, with other than lawful mate." Adultery destroys the marriage covenant and therefore warrants divorce, though reconciliation be prefereable.

Matthew 5:31-32
31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matthew 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

The second legitimate reason for divorce is if the husband or wife is an unbeliever and deserts their Christian believer spouse. Paul, in the first letter to the Corinthians, addresses this issue.

1 Corinthians 7:12-14, 15, 16
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

God's revelation to Paul in regard to this situation in the Church was, that if you as a Christian believer are deserted by a non-believing spouse, you are "not under bondage." You can in the eyes of God regard the relationship finished and a divorce is permissable.

In these two instances you are free to re-marry without repercussions of sinning. Only one other instance is given where remarriage is acceptable from God's perspective. That is if your spouse has died and then you are to find another believer to become married too ("only in the Lord.").

1 Corinthians 7:39
39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

Whoever divorces their wife or husband for any lesser reason becomes guilty of Adultery when he or she remarries & drives the spouse into Adultery if he or she remarries.

Matthew 19:9
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Mark 10:11-12
11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Luke 16:18
18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Romans 7:2-3
2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

It is important to know what you are getting into before you make a life long commitment. Take into consideration that the marriage vow is a covenant vow made before God and must not be taken lightly or with little thought. The consequences of disposable life time partners on a wholesale level in a country is considered by God to be a major mark against that country.
What is worse is when the Church waters down the Word of God in order to present divorce as alright for other than the two reasons given in God's Word.